POST TIME: 13 January, 2019 00:00 00 AM
Laughing out loud

Laughing out loud

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?"

The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night.They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.”

Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us” Paddy called as he caught his breath.”You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?” Joseph called.

“My friends are such fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelt my name and here I have to correct it!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My wife asked me to pass her lip balm.

I gave her superglue instead.

She's still not talking to me.

    Compiled from the internet