Laughing out loud
A guy is going on an ocean cruise and he tells his doctor that hes worried about getting seasick. The doctor suggests, Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock. The guy replies, Will that keep me from getting sick, Doc? The doctor says, No, but itll look really pretty in the water.
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A disciple went to his master and said, I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end. His master said, Here, have some chewing gum.
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An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks its an exit.
A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.
The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.
Compiled from the internet
