Laughing out loud

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was in a cinema.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
* * * * * * *
A detective asks a woman, "So, your husband hanged himself?" Woman replies, "Yes, that is correct." The suspicious detective continues, "But why does he have all those bruises on his head?"
"The old fool used an elastic rope!"
* * * * * * *
Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment.”
 Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him.”
* * * * * * *
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
* * * * * * *
Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager!
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
   Compiled from the internet

 

Laughing out loud

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was in a cinema. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! At your age, I wouldnt touch alcohol! Detector: Beep. Mother laughs: Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son! Detector: Beep. * * * * * * * A detective asks a woman, So, your husband hanged himself? Woman replies, Yes, that is correct. The suspicious detective continues, But why does he have all those bruises on his head? The old fool used an elastic rope! * * * * * * * Secretary: Doctor the invisible man has come. He says he has an appointment. Doctor: Tell him I cant see him. * * * * * * * I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle. * * * * * * * Guest at a restaurant: I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! Waiter: Thats no use. He wont eat it either. Compiled from the internet